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Amusement Park Rides
You know, it's all about the waiting.
I was thinking about that today, drinking my coffee. That's coff-EEEEEE, like an amusement park ride. A ride, by the way, that is an adventure I can only take because I'm not in the other big line for the other big ride right now.
You see, every month, I'm in the line, waiting, looking at my watch, looking ahead of me to see how many people are going to go before me. And this line doesn't fricken move, buster, it creeps and sidles forward. And then one day I get to the front of the line, and pee on the stick, and they look at it and shake their heads, and kick me out of the line. So I go out and get drunk, because the only good part about not being pregnant is drinking as much as I goddamn want to, but when you aren't drinking consistently it gets less pleasant and so my benders are like three maybe four glasses of wine, or a cocktail and a beer. Oh, so that's one of the other rides, the booze ride. Which does usually succeed in making me feel slightly younger and exciting. There's the sex ride, which is honestly my favorite ride in the park, and I can ride it as often as I please, and each time it's a little different. Then there's caffeine, sweet sweet coffee, which is pleasant, but makes for restless nights. So I head out on these rides, and take them around and around. And keep crawling back to the main big ride, the giant grandmammy of roller coasters, the ride that I think is the only thing that's going to mean anything when I get old.
When I think about it more, it's because this ride, the big one, is a trick. You might not realize it when you get in line, or, for some people, even when you are actually on the ride. But the ride isn't just am experience in itself, but it's also an exit from running around all the time going on rides. The ride is how you get to leave the park and go home. I don't know how else I can leave the park and move one to another phase, where there is something more solid and lasting than rides and endless cloudless skies.
I was thinking about that today, drinking my coffee. That's coff-EEEEEE, like an amusement park ride. A ride, by the way, that is an adventure I can only take because I'm not in the other big line for the other big ride right now.
You see, every month, I'm in the line, waiting, looking at my watch, looking ahead of me to see how many people are going to go before me. And this line doesn't fricken move, buster, it creeps and sidles forward. And then one day I get to the front of the line, and pee on the stick, and they look at it and shake their heads, and kick me out of the line. So I go out and get drunk, because the only good part about not being pregnant is drinking as much as I goddamn want to, but when you aren't drinking consistently it gets less pleasant and so my benders are like three maybe four glasses of wine, or a cocktail and a beer. Oh, so that's one of the other rides, the booze ride. Which does usually succeed in making me feel slightly younger and exciting. There's the sex ride, which is honestly my favorite ride in the park, and I can ride it as often as I please, and each time it's a little different. Then there's caffeine, sweet sweet coffee, which is pleasant, but makes for restless nights. So I head out on these rides, and take them around and around. And keep crawling back to the main big ride, the giant grandmammy of roller coasters, the ride that I think is the only thing that's going to mean anything when I get old.
When I think about it more, it's because this ride, the big one, is a trick. You might not realize it when you get in line, or, for some people, even when you are actually on the ride. But the ride isn't just am experience in itself, but it's also an exit from running around all the time going on rides. The ride is how you get to leave the park and go home. I don't know how else I can leave the park and move one to another phase, where there is something more solid and lasting than rides and endless cloudless skies.